Poems, Prose & Penniless Vol 1. Read online

POEMS, PROSE & PENNILESS

  Vol 1.

  JOHN MUIR

  Copyright John Robert Muir 1982. John Robert Muir asserts the legal and moral rights to be identified as the author of this work.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent and permission of the publisher.

  DISCLAIMER:

  These poems and prose are works of fiction. The names and characters are from the imagination of the author and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. If you think the author has written about you, your ego is greater than your imagination or common sense.

  Licence Notes:

  Thank you for downloading this ebook. It remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied, and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favourite retailer, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

  Acknowledgements: The author and publisher wish to thank the many individuals for ideas, inspiration, editing, encouragement and support.

  Published in EBooks 2014

  EBooks ISBN:

  Authors Note

  I published many of these poems in a collection in 1983. As a result of requests I have made them available in eBook format. My grateful thanks to Noeline Grant, artistic painter and photographer, from Kati Kati, New Zealand, for her permission to use the cover art.

  **********

  INDEX

  Two Words

  Pick me, Pick Me

  My Wants With You

  I’ll Always Remember June and October

  From The Party To The Reality

  Unceasing Search

  Circles And Confusion

  Astrology

  Love Is Continuous

  The Unbreakable Bond

  Cupid On Glass

  Public Relations

  That Damn Jigsaw Puzzle

  I Am Part Of You My Friend, And You’re A Part Of Me

  Reminders Of Home

  What Are Teddy Bears For?

  Up Front

  My Secret

  Fair Weather Lover

  Windsurfer, Windsurfer

  For Someone

  Bed And Blankets

  Love Is Crystal

  It’s Like The Way

  Effigies Fail

  Flying Friend

  Under The Headphones After Sweetwaters

  Won’t You Ever Learn

  You Are Everywhere

  For Michelle’s Birthday Card

  Another Day

  I Love Your Need To Be Cuddled

  Words Can Say Anything

  About The Author: and for list of other works

  TWO WORDS

  “You.

  A word so small,

  but meaning so much,

  For that simple word

  contains all my love.

  But a smaller word,

  Us,

  contains all my happiness

  and all I want.”

  **********

  (Previously appeared in Cosmopolitan Magazine circa 1984)

  PICK ME, PICK ME

  “Sit alone in a ‘Singles Bar’ for two hours.

  See everyone come in pairs.

  The groups of guys,

  each to give the other courage.

  Some with wedding rings removed,

  showing faint finger band white on third finger,

  left hand.

  An unintended revelation of the night,

  and deception.

  The girls too in pairs arrive,

  many finger band white on third finger,

  their vows hidden in the purse for the night.

  It’s not done to enter alone.

  If the hunters are blatant they sit

  next to the entry.

  If they’re subtle, they sit

  in the darker recesses, to asses the prey.

  The blasē salesmen

  crash their way to introductions;

  run over the same well rehearsed lines,

  and hope for some miracle

  which sometimes does occur.

  Hey miracle, I’m over here!

  It isn’t done for guys to be shy.

  But without a hunting mate

  I’m no match for salesmen

  or other pairs.

  So miracle,

  Pick me! Pick me!”

  **********

  MY WANTS WITH YOU

  “I want to hold your hand,

  as we paddle between the breakers

  and the shore.

  To laugh with you

  as the sudden shower

  wets our hair and faces.

  To lie with you under the sun

  and feel its warmth

  on our backs.

  To watch with you

  the sunset over the sea,

  and the stars at midnight.

  To hear with you the morning birds

  that wake us from our sleep.

  And turn and see your morning face.”

  **********

  I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER JUNE AND OCTOBER

  “I’ll always remember June and October,

  the months you came and went.

  Thank you for a dream.

  For a while I could plan

  for what seemed reality.

  You gave that hope to me.

  So I thank you for the time.

  It is only I who remembers

  placing the long pillow by you

  while you slept.

  To keep in the warm

  and avoid your waking.

  Like I remember watching

  you put your arm over the pillow

  and kiss it in your sleep.

  It was a shame

  I woke from that dream

  into a nightmare.

  With no understanding

  of why you left.

  Though it is only my history,

  I’ll always remember that year,

  and the months June and October.”

  **********

  FROM THE PARTY TO THE REALITY

  “I looked,

  then looked again.

  My chemistry surged,

  my body sparked.

  Could you possibly sense it?

  You seemed to react to my presence.

  But surely,

  my mind is playing tricks

  by reading what I want,

  not reading what is real.

  Then we speak,

  Our hands touch on introduction.

  Sensory overload so magical,

  together.

  It is all going well.

  Too well.

  We make arrangements for tomorrow,

  without consummation tonight.

  Then tomorrow arrives,

  I phone you.

  The atmosphere is gone.

  The magic dissipated.

  Last night’s feelings flopped.”

  **********

  UNCEASING SEARCH

  “My unceasing search

  is all that keeps me going.

  I know I’m ready now

  for love,

  and loving.

  I think I’ve been ready

  for quite a while now.

  The sense of urgency

  and feeling of desperation

  is felt more pressing each day.

  Almost as if the race

  is nearly over,


  and I have yet to start.

  As though my time is close

  to being all used up.

  As if any day now

  I’ll hear a voice call out,

  ‘come in Boat 5 – your time is up’.

  It’s not quite like that,

  but very nearly,

  For this pressure inside me

  is screaming to get out.

  It’s love that’s built up

  looking for the right release.

  A pressure not as easily relieved now

  by the distraction

  from my search.

  I look at so many pairs of eyes,

  and wonder,

  are you the one?

  I cross streets unnecessarily

  to catch another’s eye.

  Some look back,

  but most don’t.

  Even with those that do,

  my embarrassment means

  I do nothing about it.

  Too fearful I’ll be obvious.

  I so often wish I had courage enough

  to simply say –

  ‘I’d like to talk with you awhile,

  as I will likely never see you again.

  And if I miss this chance,

  I might miss the chance

  of ending my search.’

  So, if you see me looking,

  please smile back,

  and say ‘Hello’.”

  **********

  CIRCLES AND CONFUSION

  “I often work out where I’m at,

  then wonder why I’m there.

  And if I’m there, just where is it?

  How did I get to here?

  I know I’ve been right here before

  I didn’t like it then.

  So I ask myself once more,

  ‘why me, why me again?’

  How do we learn? can we look back?

  And learn things from the past?

  But if the past does hurt too much

  how long can hurt last?

  So if you ever wonder why

  your muddled mind can’t cope.

  We live in circles cruel and hard,

  but try to live in hope.”

  **********

  ASTROLOGY

  “I still read your horoscope every day

  and hope they foretell some miracle,

  like your return to me.

  But then I fear,

  that if the miracle as written

  did not occur,

  how could I cope?

  But what if as is written ,

  if it did occur,

  and you returned to me;

  how would I cope?

  So I am sad and happy

  when I read

  your stars every day.

  For to date,

  no miracle is forecast.

  So I don’t have to face

  whether I could cope”

  **********

  LOVE IS CONTINUOUS

  “I love you

  in the only way I know how.

  It is not material,

  and able to be touched.

  It is an emotional thing.

  For I love you as much

  in a group of a thousand people,

  as I do when

  we are by ourselves.

  My love for you is not a secret,

  only to be shared

  behind closed doors.

  Not there to be switched off and on

  when it is convenient.

  It is uncontrolled and continuous.

  I can no more switch off my love

  than I can stop my heart beating.”

  **********

  (Previously appeared in Cosmopolitan Magazine circa 1985)

  THE UNBREAKABLE BOND

  “I’ve seen them,

  lying on beach sands,

  bodies apart,

  yet fingers touching.

  I’ve seen them,

  on busy and quiet streets,

  hand in hand,

  keeping their pace together.

  I’ve seen her,

  caressing his neck

  with her fingers,

  as he drives through city traffic.

  I’ve seen him,

  holding her arm,

  to guide her safely

  across a busy street.

  In groups of friends,

  she briefly touches his arm,

  to reinforce

  the bond between them.

  He smiles at her

  across a room,

  that smile that says

  we are one.”

  **********

  CUPID ON GLASS

  “The window covered in condensation

  from our hot breath,

  Formed from a night of lovemaking,

  while outside the frost chills.

  I write our names

  inside a heart

  pierced by Cupid’s arrow.

  And wonder if its rapid fading is prophetic.

  The cold morning air

  delays my rising,

  As you could delay me

  with your warm breath

  and fitting body.

  Allowing me smugness,

  with snugness,

  knowing you love me.

  Knowing you’ll be here

  to love only me,

  nearly as much as I love you.”

  **********

  PUBLIC RELATIONS

  “Public relations is smiling.

  Even when you’d prefer to put a knife

  into the gizzard

  of some hypocritical pig.

  But that makes you

  as big a hypocrite

  for smiling.”

  **********

  THAT DAMN JIGSAW PUZZLE

  “I am happy and sad

  when I think of you.

  So very happy that I

  was lucky enough

  to have met you.

  So very glad that you

  allowed me to share

  your life for a while

  But very sad

  that the jigsaw of our lives

  could not meld as one.”

  **********

  I AM PART OF YOU MY FRIEND, AND YOU’RE A PART OF ME

  “All the beings in this world

  must surely be one body.

  And each of us mere atoms in

  a body shared by all.

  This makes me part of you my friend

  and you a part of me.

  So you’re an atom in my body

  and I’m a part of you.

  So I must feel what injures you

  to help you put it right.

  ‘Cause if I don’t then your sad soul

  gives pain in our joint mind.

  Although the world seems large to be

  one body of us all.

  It all makes sense when looking out

  to see our total soul.

  Like Einstein said, if we could see

  so far past space and time,

  we’d see so far that we’d look back

  to see ourselves here now.

  So you’re a part of me my friend

  and I’m a part of you.

  But just how much you are in me,

  and how much I’m in you,

  I’ll never really learn my friend,

  I can’t divide my mind.

  My mind has got you well entrenched,

  or is that mine in yours?

  So you see the minds are one,

  But which one is just me?”

  **********

  REMINDERS OF HOME

  “It was good to see a sparrow

  flitting through the plum tree,

  a sight I know so well.

  It’s something that’s familiar

  from somewhere that I love.

  The pigeons whistled in,

  and cooed around the bread

  I’d tossed them from th
e porch.

  Its not quite as familiar

  having pigeons in my yard.

  I’m used to seeing them

  in the greener pastures of home.

  Even the warmer winters

  make me miss the cold

  of the night.

  The cold that made us

  snuggle in close

  for warmth.

  And me?

  I’m just a country boy,

  now in a big city.

  Trying to keep country values

  in a city of many faces

  that in total count two.

  I’ll try and keep my one face

  and my one smile.

  Then hope that I meet you

  before my face splits

  from hypocrisy.

  Then perhaps we may share,

  or visit,

  the place I call home.”

  **********

  WHAT ARE TEDDY BEARS FOR?

  “Lady, you don’t have to justify

  this night in your mind.

  Between missing real love and loneliness,

  there is so little difference.

  We both are alone, and we both need a sharing.

  a feeling of caring and warmth.

  Let your mind concede

  you want company

  Let your mind concur

  with your body.

  If it forestalls the loneliness

  just one more day, until tomorrow,

  then it has been worthwhile.

  It’s nice to be cuddled in warmth,

  What are teddy bears for?

  You don’t go to bed just for sex,

  that just happens,

  it follows along the way.

  It’s the warmth and the cuddles that follow

  that puts off the lonely todays.

  If your partner is feeling alone,

  just like you

  they too need the cuddle.

  Then, what of me?

  If you find me easy to share with,

  then let’s just share the time

  in warmth and cuddles together.

  Let’s just share the night as friends,

  maybe lovers,

  should the mood take us.

  But tomorrow,

  don’t think we are chained

  in commitment to each other.

  I don’t want to own you,

  and,

  you won’t own me.

  Let’s just have our little secret

  and remember,

  we were lovers once,

  and perhaps might be again.

  But most of all let’s remember

  we are friends.

  Friends who have taken down

  that last barrier between us.

  Friends who have conceded

  they needed warmth for a night.”

  **********

  UP FRONT

  “The pretty girl,

  not wanting any rival,

  has her ugly friend in tow.

  She carefully chose her hunting mate.

  While the ugly duckling

  is content to feed

  Off the crumbs tossed away

  by her pretty friend.

  All the while learning

  That she must develop

  what the self-centred pretty one

  will never possess.

  Personality and feelings.

  In the final summation then,

  the ugly one wins through.

  So perhaps it is

  the ugly girl

  with her pretty friend out front,

  to attract the bees.

  The pretty one,

  In shiny cellophane wrapping

  is revealed as a plastic flower.

  And all the sweet nectar

  is with the ugly rose.”

  **********

  MY SECRET

  “I think of you, your face your eyes,

  You’re everything I’ve sought.

  But I am me and I’m with mine,

  And yet you are my thought.

  Cause I’d looked round for such as you,

  and now you’ve come along.

  Am I too late? I live in hope.

  Please tell me I’m not wrong.

  My mind says No, my heart says Yes,

  But common sense reveals,